Dating Yourself: Why Self-Love is the Foundation for Healthy Relationships

How are you supposed to give love to someone else when you can't give that same love YOU deserve to yourself?

Self-love has always been really hard for me. No matter how many podcasts, websites, and instagram accounts I follow I can never seem to fully grasp how to love myself unconditionally. Granted, it has gotten better throughout the years... but no where near I want it to be.

I have come to the realization that the true threat and barrier to me getting to where I need to be in regards to loving myself is the fact that I give way too much love to others when I really need to give that same love and respect to myself. Easier said than done, but here are my tips that I have found to help.

Don't be too hard on yourself

You are so much stronger than you believe yourself to be, HOWEVER it is okay to have doubts and bad days. It is totally normal to have a negative mindset. It is important to figure out what is holding you back from fully putting your energy and time into yourself. Sometimes I even feel guilty for taking the time to just focus on what really matter at the end... ME (or in your case, YOU.)

Let it be (or "let them")

There is this trend going around that at first I was apprehensive about because I am not normally one to just sit back and watch situations unravel by itself. This is the idea that whatever is... is. There is no need to force anything on anyone and further more on yourself. For self-love, let it be. Let everything go except for yourself. Let people treat you the way they want to treat you and let things around you play out the way they are supposed to. Then we hold the power on how we react and act on the situation which in turn changes the dynamic right there.

Find people who support/love you for who you are now

Don't change to make someone else love/accept you. That is the point of this post is that by loving who you are at any state of mental, physical, and spiritual state is the name of the game. It is important to remember that the people who will be there for you no matter what state of mind you are in are the keepers. I know we all want to hang on to at least one toxic relationship but we have to cut them out. It is preventing you from fully developing love you should be giving yourself because you are giving that love to people who don't even matter. It is so messed up that we believe in order for people to want us we need to change. That should be the reddest flag in the world. Don't change yourself if need be change the people who you surround yourself with.

Stay in your own lane

This has been a motto that my mom has been telling me since preschool because of the very sad word "comparison." There will always be someone you feel is better than you. To you, they may have everything and get anything they ever wanted. That is your mind tricking you because in reality you have everything you need in order to make things work (you.)

Take a "trip"

Take a trip does not always mean you have to go somewhere to escape. This is an escape from either social media, toxic people, texting, or you can actually go somewhere else to escape from everything. This takes time and will not be easy. At first you can start day to day breaking away from what is causing you anxiety and stress. Get away for a week and see how that goes. Then see if you can take it up a notch and distance yourself from whatever or whomever for a month.

You got this

This is not something that happens overnight and will be hard even when people say "just do it." It can feel like the hardest thing to distance yourself from someone or situation that causes more stress than happiness. When I put it that way I feel like it makes a lot of sense but thinking about actually putting those words into actions are super stressful to me. Like I said take its day by day or for me I like to think of it minute by minute. You got this. We really have to learn to love ourselves before we can truly respect and love others.

Hope you enjoyed this post! If you have any questions, comments, or just have an idea for a post feel free to email or send a chat! Thank you for visiting :)

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